I had a pretty rotten thing happen to me on Friday. I was talking to someone on the phone over an issue related to my business. When our conversation ended, the person on the other end of the line thought that he had disconnected from the call, but something happened and the call remained connected. I overheard his conversation about me to someone else and it was venomous and negative. He said things that he would never want me to know.I felt betrayed and angry! Mainly because this person has pretended to be my friend for a really long time....and I felt that we had developed a pretty close relationship over many years. I realized at that moment, however, that it had all been "just business".
I was pretty broken about the whole deal, and it has been good to be away from the office this weekend. Truth be told, I wish I had a couple more days away. Too bad I wasn't just independently wealthy and didn't have to work...That would be great! Nevertheless, tomorrow I am heading back with a two new challenges...(1) to reevaluate my relationships with every person on my list of contacts and ensure that my relationships with those people are "real". Life is too short, and opportunities to really connect are too few and far between, to settle for something less. (2) I want to ensure that I never have a conversation about anyone that I would be ashamed of if I discovered that they were listening over a connected cell phone without my knowledge.
The message at church this weekend was from Psalm 51 and David's sin with Bethsheba. It reminded me also that our life is lived before God and sometimes we forget that He is always listening on an "open line". David came to that realization when God himself revealed that fact to him through the prophet Nathan. Proverbially it was like David thought the phone was hung up when slept with her, plotted her husbands death, and then married her, but God was listening the whole time.
In His presence, during times of worship I have told God that I love Him. I have even sang "I am a Friend of God" But guess what? To my shame, I know that there have been many times that I forgot that I was connected to Him. During moments where I forgot that He was still "on the line" I have blatantly rejected Him through my words or actions. All the while He was observing my betrayal. How many times have I hurt the heart of God? It makes me just sick...and like David I have no defense but can only say..."I have sinned before God."
I will end by gladly telling you that incredibly God has forgiven me....... and for this reason, if none other, I will forgive also.
1 comment:
Buddy,
I had this same thing happen to me many years ago. It was supposedly, the closest friend I had at the time. It hurt and I never forgot it. It really shines the light on the reality of how people treat you and how they truly feel. I liked what you said about David. Ironically, that was what we studied in Sunday School last week. I really like the analogy of "God is still on the line...connected". I think all of us would change alot of things if we kept that in mind. Thanks for sharing.
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